this is san francisco

photo by me, Andrea Despot

So, guess what a certain someone finally did?

That's right! I finally got around to taking pictures here in San Francisco! I'll share the rest later, but that one above is my favorite.

I can't believe I've been here almost a month now... and have accomplished so little. Now that I'm not on a regular schedule, it's been kinda hard keeping up with blogging, yet I know some of you want to know what's going on with me. I tend to internalize things and not talk about the "negative" stuff and what's worrying me. I already talked about some of it on my other blog (right here), but I've basically been psyching myself out to the point of not doing anything. But... I had a really great talk with my mom the other day about not thinking things to death and not being so serious, to just have fun with this chapter of my life. I know I know all this, but I always tend to forget. People are just people and for the most part, they aren't judging me for all the tiny things I think they are. Now, I just need to get out and do it!

taking off (almost)

source

Well, I'm officially unemployed and am spending my Wednesday packing the rest of my stuff and washing clothes. I don't leave until Sunday, but I need to make sure I can fit all my clothes into my suitcases (I think I actually can!) and I need to ship everything else today so it'll get to San Francisco as soon as possible. 

Which means I won't have my computer until next week. I can still use my parents' computer but I won't be blogging. I'll still pop up here and there but I'll be pretty silent until next week. 

So... I'll be spending my last days in Virginia visiting my sister and saying goodbye to random people and finishing up some errands. Also, there was something rather profound about my big move that I've been meaning to say that I completely forgot about: 

It seemed as if the universe was aligning, helping me out, giving me signs and letting me know that everything will work out just fine. Ever since Sean and I decided to move to San Francisco, I've been selling more photographs, getting more dog- and house-sitting jobs, booking more photography sessions and even teaching my first photography class. I got the chance to get paid overtime for the first time in two years. I didn't get sick at all, resulting in no unpaid sick days. After participating in the annual local art competition for the past eight years, I finally won one of the big awards which meant big money. 

Moving across the country means spending money. It also means saving money for when we'll be struggling through those first few months. So the universe sent some extra money my way this past year and it was perfect timing. 

Little things. Little signs. Letting me know that yes, this is right. 

And that rare earthquake that hit the east coast yesterday? Only days before I move near the earthquake capital of the world? I don't take it as a bad omen. Instead, I think it's pretty freaking ironic and almost comical. I take it as a good sign. As if it were just for me.

san francisco here i come...

1, 2, 3

... in T-minus 17 days! I cannot wait to start my life in this amazing place. It's such a huge difference from the little city I've grown up in near the country. In many ways, it feels like I'm starting my life over. It's absolutely terrifying but extremely exciting!

big news!

source

After announcing Big News Part One and Big News Part Two back in December, I can now officially announce Part Three:

After 4 years, 1 month, 3 weeks and 4 days since graduating college and moving back home (subsequently beginning a long-distance relationship with my now-fiancé) I will be moving! Which, yes, means moving from Virginia to San Francisco!

It's something that's been in the works for almost a year now (and so hard to keep quiet, though some of you have already known through email). But my two weeks notice is in, my one-way plane ticket is purchased, we have an apartment to live in, and so it's official! By the end of the month I'll be living on the west coast, falling asleep every single night next to the love of my life.

This is the most exciting thing I've ever done, so expect more posts about San Francisco, packing, boxes and such over the next few weeks. I thought I'd just keep it short and sweet for now.

and i quote...

Some final thoughts on my trip to San Francisco:

This quote describes my San Franciscan experience infinitely well. It might as well be talking about me: I wanted to wander every street, discover every nook and cranny, document every window and archway, become acquainted with every corner café... I wanted all of it to be mine, my every day. I could so easily see myself living my life there...

san francisco, the last days

The rest of the week (Wednesday and Thursday) was spent uneventfully: rainy days in Sean's cool, thin-walled dorm room watching movies such as Megamind, Coraline, and Seven Samurai, while evenings were spent in the hotel room playing sudoku and watching AMC, the only channel that would come through that didn't eventually turn to static or suddenly switch stations. We also may or may not have watched two or three episodes of The Nanny until one in the morning.

My second to last day there, Friday, started off with a trip on MUNI metro, an exhausting wander through a winding, hilly neighborhood to yet another nonexistent place.

Then it was back onto MUNI metro and a walk along Hayes Street (with a stop at Paulette Macarons) to Alamo Square, across the street from the famed Painted Ladies aka Postcard Row.

Picture this: Sitting in front of the picturesque Victorian townhouses in pastel shades of green, beige, olive, yellow, purple, blue and brown while eating macarons out of a sweetly packaged box in pastel shades of raspberry red, almond pink, pistachio green, lavender cassis, chocolate brown and coffee. Cute, right?

Lots more walking ensued to get back to Sean's dorm. We spent the rest of the evening surfing the internet, watching television and eating (almost) an entire bag of double stuf Oreos and milk.

And then the last day. Saturday.

My return flight wasn't schedule until 10:30 that night so we had time to actually enjoy the day. A quick recap:

Checked out of hotel at 11am
Argonaut Book Shop up the street
30 bus from Stockton to Columbus Cafe: turkey club and caramel frappé
Chocolate chip cookies at Mrs. Fields
Walgreens for Coffeemate and sugar
Instant coffee and flipping through magazines
All Over Coffee by Paul Madonna
Lori's Diner
Flight delayed by one hour
BART to airport
And the short goodbye, which for once didn't involve tears

And that's it. It already feels like a lifetime ago, a world away. Which, being all the way across the country, is. And, as is obvious, I can't wait to go back! I've never been anywhere so exciting and so different and so attainable. Being a traveller at heart, I've always had a bit of wanderlust, so this whole trip thrilled me and filled me beyond description. But of course I had to try, so thanks to all of you who took the time to read all of this and for giving me such encouraging words on my writing!

The end.

san francisco, day five

Wednesday was the cooking fiasco. Not really fiasco, but definitely eventful.

Me and Sean. Sean and me. When the two of us live together, it will definitely be interesting. Unfortunately, neither of us have had much cooking experience and usually stick to eating sandwiches and frozen foods. So we decided we needed to mix it up a bit, but without going out to eat every single night.

While at the grocery store a couple days before, we'd bought some kind of lemon-herb marinated boneless skinless chicken breast, which in itself was a bit confusing. (At the store we were looking for the cheapest chicken breast we could find, and it all seemed scattered around. Sean frustratingly asked why there wasn't a sign for "Cheap Chicken," which I thought was a very relevant question, no matter how silly it sounded.) But we found the pre-marinated version which also happened to be the cheapest, so that settled that. Add in some rotini, Alfredo sauce and broccoli and we had somewhat of a plan.

So. Wednesday we cooked. We pulled out the brand spanking new stainless steel pot and pan bought specifically for the occasion, lit the gas stove, boiled water in the pot for the noodles, poured some olive oil in the pan and plopped in the chicken. Within less than a minute the bottoms were seared to the metal and the smoke detector was blaring. Freaking out, we pushed open the tiny window and grabbed paper bags to circulate the air. The alarm stopped and I attempted to save the chicken. Fearing it would get burnt beyond edibility, I continuously flipped the chicken on one burner while stirring the noodles on another.

The smoke alarm went off again. So back to waving paper bags around like idiots.

Eventually, the chicken looked like chicken and the noodles looked like noodles. So we put it all together with the Alfredo sauce and ate, quite content with what we conjured. Even the slightly burned parts weren't so bad!

Afterwards I started cleaning the pan. But the residue from the chicken would not come off no matter how hard I scrubbed and how long I let it soak.

So to the internet it was! After finding several methods to remove stubborn stains on stainless steel, we decided on the cheapest and easiest which required combining baking soda and water into a paste. Which of course prompted a visit to the drugstore down the street to buy said baking soda.

Half an hour later I was in the kitchen dumping half of the baking soda into a cup of water to create something that resembled a paste. I then dumped that into the pan and let it sit.

And it worked! It was a relief to know I didn't ruin Sean's only pan on the very first use.

Feeling rather proud of ourselves for making our first home-cooked meal successfully and for figuring out how to fix the stubborn residue problem all on our own, we then realized we'd completely forgotten about including the broccoli!

So a couple days later we used the trusty internet yet again to learn how to steam broccoli (no, neither of us had cooked broccoli before.) Obviously it was very easy. So we cooked the rest of the noodles, threw on the rest of the Alfredo sauce, stirred in the broccoli and leftover chicken and tada! Another home-cooked meal! A very tasty home-cooked meal, might I add. I was rather proud of ourselves for making something without using a recipe, no matter how sarcastic all of this might be sounding...

More to come... 

the souvenirs

These are my souvenirs that Sean bought for me in Chinatown. I love that tiny red box so much. Really! I'm absolutely obsessed with it and can't keep from staring at it!

Source: Andrea Despot

san francisco, day four

Here I am, trying to process it all, trying to document it, mostly for my own benefit, but also for my family and friends and anyone else who is interested in reading through my ramblings.

It all feels like something I should remember. And without my pictures, I'm left with the words.

I can recall exactly what we did on certain days very easily. The first days and the last days I remember quite clearly. But the middle days, Tuesday and Wednesday and Thursday, tend to blur together. But I do remember this:

Tuesday was Chinatown. On and off rain. Umbrella up. Umbrella down. There were two kinds of shops in Chinatown: those that were terribly tacky full of tourist junk and those that were unbearably exquisite, full of intricately detailed and ornately patterned items. Expensive things. For having admittedly different tastes, for some reason Sean and I share a love of Asian art. I think we both wanted to buy everything we saw in those pretty shops. Origami crane earrings, art-covered pill boxes, rusted Chinese coins in various sizes and various stages of wear, colorful elephants, elaborate villages carved out of ivory, sake sets and tea sets, deep red statues of frogs and Buddhas, Kama Sutra-lined jewelry boxes. Sean bought two cloisonne wiggle fish: a navy one for him and a gold one for me. Someday we will hang them in a birdcage, swimming in arched circles around each other. He also bought me a delicately carved miniature cylindrical box made of cinnabar, a bright red Chinese lacquerware which I was absolutely obsessed with and carried back and forth between the hotel room and his dorm room.

After passing through Chinatown we went to the 901 Columbus Cafe, an understated coffeehouse that Sean frequents between his art classes. The cafe was everything I love about cafes: dim and cozy with an eclectic, artsy feel, miss-matched seating, comfy sofas and armchairs, brick walls, original photographs and paintings, the menu handwritten on the wall, chairs and tables outside, and drinks served in actual glasses, mugs, and cups and saucers. I ordered a Zebra cappuccino and we sat for a short while.

We then headed to Z. Cioccolato for fudge: Cabernet Dark for me and Raspberry Cheesecake Swirl for him. Then it was off to City Lights Books which I could see myself spending many hours in. It's a bookstore with the newest books, like a Barnes & Noble, but the likeness ends there. City Lights is independently-owned and had a more intimate, alternative feel with bookshelves lined diagonally and haphazardly rather than parallel. The main floor was Literature, the second floor was Poetry, and the basement was full of Science Fiction, Cooking, Travel, Biographies, Science, etc.

With tremendous effort, neither of us bought anything but we made mental notes and jotted down titles for future reference. (I also made a mental note to further explore the block surrounding the bookstore, like Vesuvio, The Beat Museum, The Dreaming Room, and Jack Kerouac Alley.)

More to come...

san francisco, day three

San Francisco. Day three. The day where I really saw San Francisco.

After years of hearing about Ed, Sean's friend, who lives in San Francisco, I finally got to meet him.

Ed. He's a cool guy. I only really know him from what Sean has told me. And I'm so grateful for him. If it wasn't for Ed, Sean wouldn't know anyone in the entire city, wouldn't know how to get around, where to go, etc. Ed grew up in San Francisco and has really helped Sean with all of that stuff.

So we met up with Ed for brunch at a diner and then walked to a bus stop where we hopped onto a MUNI bus, my first bus ride in the city (no, not the same things as a streetcar or a cable car aka trolley.) Which was interesting and crowded, but still better than walking.

We got off somewhere around Fillmore, got some coffee at a Starbucks, and walked around some nice neighborhoods in the Pacific Heights district which led us to the Palace of Fine Arts, a monumental rotunda situated next to a lagoon, covered in Greek- and Roman-inspired carvings essentially designed as "a fictional ruin from another time."

Then we walked across the street to the site of Lucasfilm headquarters where Sean fawned over the Yoda Fountain and all the books and cool Star Wars memorabilia and vintage B-movie posters in the lobby. (He's a dork, but a cute dork, and I mean that in the best way possible. He'd be boring if he wasn't.)

After missing one bus and then another and continually getting passed by buses in training, we eventually caught one which took us to a corner lot on Columbus where we picked up a Zipcar for the next few hours.

And for the next few hours I got to see San Francisco.

The seemingly miniscule San Franciscan skyline from Crissy Field. The crimson monolithic Golden Gate Bridge, up close and personal. The coast along Lincoln Boulevard: up and over winding hills mounted on sheer cliff faces covered in lush green trees overlooking a surprisingly blue Pacific Ocean with waves bigger than any I'd ever seen crashing onto giant rocks jutting from the depths of the water... And the Pacific Ocean, out there, stretching as far as the eye could see.

We went around to the far West side and stopped at a grocery store to stock up on essentials for the week. We couldn't afford to eat out every night...

So we got "real" food to cook in Sean's tiny dorm kitchen. Which prompted a visit to TJMaxx to get pots and pans to cook the real food in, none of which Sean had. Which then lead to purchasing a spatula to cook with. Which led to a visit to the Dollar Store to get a fork because Sean only owns one. Where Sean got distracted by awesomely illustrated B-movie plates and cups. Which Sean bought, all three of us completely forgetting about buying a fork until we made it to the car parked a half mile or so up the road.

We finished day three with increasingly sore feet and legs, a giant five-cheese store-bought pizza, and cake.

More to come...

greetings from

These are some really awesome postcards Sean found. He sent me the bottom two a couple months ago and I mailed the top one to my parents while I was there last week. I love the vintage look of them!

Source: Scanned by Andrea Despot

san francisco, day two continued

Our second evening in San Francisco consisted of that same walk where I gave up on the prospect of taking pictures. The recap:

Out the hotel door and left onto Geary.

Left onto Powell. And up and up and up.

Left onto California where things leveled out for a bit.

Right onto Jones. And up. Again.

Passed Vallejo, the scene of both crimes.

Continued to the intersection of Jones & Green, where we got an amazing view of Alcatraz.

Left onto Green.
Right onto Leavenworth.

Passed notoriously squiggly Lombard Street.

Merged left onto Columbus.

And left onto Beach.

Where I caught my very first glimpse of the Golden Gate Bridge! It was a couple of miles off in the distance. Tiny and orange-red and hazy from the distance. Like a dork, I almost cried with excitement. How strange it was to see something so familiar, so widely known and seen in movies and photographs! How strange and wonderful to see it in person!

We braved the crowd and headed up to Ghirardelli Square, but decided not to go in. We did some more wandering along Fisherman's Wharf, searching for an apparently non-existent Barnes & Noble. All the while, the sun was shining and we were happy, though our feet were tired after two days of seemingly endless walking. So we took a chance with a streetcar and ended up at Market, near our hotel. We arrived in the early evening, the sky darkening around us, and decided it was finally time to eat. Something. Somewhere.

We settled on Chinese food in Chinatown. Where else?

Apparently Chinatown is practically dead at nine o'clock at night but we managed to find a subdued Dim Sum House still open. We were served tea in tiny white handleless tea cups from an aged silver teapot. We ate wonton soup and loads of lo, excuse me, chow mein. The meal ended with the requisite fortune cookies where my fortune was the answer to his:

Something on four wheels will soon be a fun investment for you!

A four-wheeled adventure will soon bring you happiness.

We left Chinatown and in the darkness, on one of the streets, a musician was playing the saxophone, the acoustics reverberating between the tall buildings. A confidently round sound, neither lonely nor joyful, but perfectly fitting for a dark, cool night on a slow corner. 

More to come... 

san francisco, days one and two

After my first trip to the West Coast, my first time seeing the Pacific Ocean, my first trip to California and my first trip to San Francisco, I have no pictures to show for it.

Yes, that's right. I'm a photographer with no pictures. Which I guess is what I deserve for being a snob and only wanting to bring my mom's old Pentax K1000 to shoot black & white film. Which, unbeknownst to me, was apparently broken. (But I'll get back to that in just a minute.)

My first impression of the city was completely overwhelming.

Now, I realize that I've grown up and lived most of my life in a small city in southern Virginia, but never before had I really felt like a country girl until now. I've been in airports more than fifty times in the past five years, but absolutely none of them compared to the vastness of SFO. I got lost. But found my way. And found Sean (my fiancé). I was then thrown onto Red Lines, Blue Lines and BART (my first experience with a subway) which hurled me into the epicenter of the shopping district on a cold, windy, rainy Saturday morning. Two rolling suitcases in tow, we traversed the mall (that's a sentence in itself), slippery out-of-order outdoor escalators, those famed 45-degree angled hills, a crowd of pedestrians like none I'd ever seen, and eventually found our way to Sean's dorm.

My first day there, quite frankly, was a whirlwind. After getting a bite to eat and checking into our hotel, we set out to walk around the city. Which I immediately fell in love with. Despite the slight drizzle, the walk was refreshing once we got away from the crowd. I oohed and awed over absolutely everything: the architecture (how every building, window and archway looked better than the last), the trees, the succulents, the bright flowers, the hills, the views, the glimpses of Bay Bridge between the buildings to the East.

And then it turned sour. The rain picked up and after such a far walk, I found that the only shoes I'd packed for the weeklong trip were completely soaked, my only umbrella turned inside out at every gust of wind, and my hair drenched. Way too much for a girl who hates to get wet.

To say the least, I felt grossly unprepared. I didn't have the right shoes, the right umbrella, or even a hat.

I then decided I hated San Francisco and proceeded to curse obscenities all the way to the hotel.

After being awake for almost twenty-four straight hours and three time zones away from my home, it was time to get some much-needed sleep.

Upon waking the next morning and seeing that the forecast called for rain all freaking week, I vowed to buy some rain-boots. No matter how expensive.

So, after waiting for my tennis shoes to dry in the dryer, Sean and I set off for Union Square, that same crazily crowded shopping district as the day before. Saks Fifth Avenue. Macy's. H&M. Bloomingdales. All the places I'd seen in Vogue ads, but never in person. Even with all the shopping possibilities, I still didn't know where to get rain-boots. (Remember, I'm really just a country girl at heart.)

After wandering around Bloomingdales trying to find a shoe department, we had our first stroke of luck. A stroke of luck which basically turned the whole week around for me. A girl walked passed us and Sean called out her name: Christina, one of literally a handful of people that Sean knows in the entire city. After a quick introduction, and deciding she was a woman of style and knowledge, I practically begged for her help on where to find rain-boots.

It ended up that she worked at Bloomingdales, knew exactly what I was looking for, and lead us to a little corner where Hunter Wellington boots were on display. Exactly what I'd been lusting after for months. And now needed. And they were on sale.

It was meant to be.

The day looked up. It was actually sunny. And not raining. In fact, it didn't really rain too bad most of the week even though the forecast kept saying it would. The first day really was the worst of them all.

With a new skip in my step, armed with my new boots and the only skinny jeans I could squeeze down into them, Sean and I set out to explore the crazy hills of San Francisco, I with my camera in tow. We took a route similar to the one the day before. Up the glass elevators at the Westin St. Francis, passed a hotel we recognized from Vertigo, passed the beautiful Grace Cathedral. After ascending and descending each hill and turning around, I found yet another photo opportunity, combining towering glass buildings, ornate architecture, and lush greens.

Everything was so photogenic!

After completing a roll of 36 exposures, I wound the film and opened the back. Only to find a little tongue of film sticking out of the cartridge. When I plucked it out, the top of the cartridge popped off and the film unwound into a pitiful spiral.

I wanted to get mad. I might've, just a little. But I decided it was okay, we had all day, all week. So we went back to the hotel to get more film and retraced our steps.

Thirty-six exposures later, at the scene of the crime with the unfortunately ruined first roll, I wound the film again. Opened the back. And tada! The film was completely out of the cartridge, still wound onto the far right side. Sean immediately said "I love you!" while I tore the film out and threw it on the ground and walked away. I wanted to cry. But decided that maybe the pictures wouldn't have come out anyway. It was better to realize it now than to get a bunch of blank, undeveloped film back a few weeks later.

So we set out to simply enjoy the place. No pictures. Just the experience of a completely new city through fresh eyes. It was almost refreshing not to have to take pictures. To be pushed to experience something for what it really is rather than being behind a lens.

Plus, I can always go back and retrace my steps, again. And I will.

More to come...

san francisco bound!

By this time tomorrow I'll be in San Francisco! It will be the first time I've seen my fiancé in about eighty days, the first time I'll be on the West Coast, the first time I'll see the Pacific Ocean, the first time I'll be staying in a hotel without my parents. My first real grown-up vacation, if you will.

I'm a traveler at heart, with more than a bit of wanderlust. I hardly ever get the chance to travel so to say I'm excited is an understatement!

I only have enough room to take one camera. Yeah, I know... So which do you think I should bring? My digital camera (instant gratification) or my film camera with only black & white film (who knows when or where I'll get it developed).

Source: Jonathan Canlas via Oh Happy Day

today's the day

Change is ahead as my fiancé flies across the country to San Francisco today. He starts classes next week and he's partly excited and partly freaking out. But I also know he'll be just fine. When I graduated high school, I moved from Virginia to Florida to attend college where I didn't know a single person. So if shy little me could do it then, I have no doubt that he can do it now. It just takes time to get used to things. And I have all the confidence in the world in him.

Source:1. *LeDams* 2. alison scarpulla 3. brianwferry

big news part two!

Thanks for all the comments and congratulations and kind words about our engagement! Since a lot of you already asked, I might as well share some other big news with you:

For those of you who don't already know, my fiancé (sounds so weird to say!) lives in southern Florida where we met and started dating over four years ago. I moved back to my hometown in Virginia when I graduated after less than a year of dating and since then we've had a long distance relationship, only seeing each other every few months in the past three years.

So the big news is that he is moving across the country to San Francisco, California, in less than a month! He's going back to college to get his Masters in Illustration at the Academy of Art University. The plan is that he'll get the networking/internships/jobs he needs since what he wants to do is based in California.

I won't say anything else as of yet, but I will say that we're working on being together... So, though we're engaged, we have no wedding date set and aren't even worried or thinking about that at the moment. We have so many other things to figure out before then! But it's such a wonderful relief that things are finally starting to fall into place...

Source: Josef Hoflehner